First of all, forget Pennywise, the world-famous scary clown from Stephen King’s It, as portrayed in Tommy Lee Wallace’ miniseries of the same name. Then forget the demented clowns from Victor Salva’s legendary Clownhouse. And Stephen Chiodo’s campy Killer Clowns from Outer Space as well. Not to mention the tragic comic clown from Conor McMahon’s Stitches. Let alone the sinister clown from American Horror Story Freakshow.
Because in Jon Watts’ clown slasher, inventively titled no less than … Clown, you won’t find any of the horror, fear, and fun of the above. To be fair, there’s nothing wrong with the title. And neither with the premise: a caring father (Andy Powers) jumps into a clown suit for his son’s birthday party only to later find out that this suit does not come off — it fuses with his skin and his hair, and then a cannibal demon with a penchant for kids begins to possess him.
The problem, or better said the problems, are in the development of the premise. And we’re talking about huge problems, starting with the film’s tone. It begins as a nightmarish descent into the realm of the absurd, as the father tries to take off the suit by all means and fails pitifully. So you have to wonder: is it a comedy? Is it a tragedy? Is it a tragic comedy? The film is very indecisive about it, so it’s played both ways but misses the mark almost always. It’s not funny when it’s meant to, it’s just dumb. It’s not tragic when it should be, it’s just pathetic. Then, after a very long while, I’d say 45 minutes into the film, the “real horror” begins — so to speak.
Clown is presented and produced by Eli Roth, who also plays the demonic clown and who, in my book, only deserves some credit for Hostel I and Hostel II, so you would expect the horror to come with plenty of gore and splatter. Or, at least, with some really shocking scenes. Forget all about it. The jump scares are formulaic and lame, the kills are very unimpressive, the gore is risible, and graphic imagery is basically child’s play. Clown is rated R, but it’s definitely a mild PG-13.
By the way, the performances range from poor to mediocre, and so do the camerawork, the cinematography, the editing and the sound design. There’s no sense of aesthetics, or at least, an effective mise-en-scene. And to think the premise held a good deal of potential.
So in the end you have a clown that won’t make you laugh, won’t terrify you and won’t seduce. What kind of a clown is it? A stupid clown you can forget all about, if you ask me.
Production notes
Clown (US/Canada, 2014). Directed by Jon Watts. Written by Christopher D. Ford, John Watts. With Eli Roth, Peter Stormare, Laura Allen, Andy Powers, Christian Distefano. Cinematography: Matthew Santo. Editing: Robert Ryang. Running time: 100 minutes.
